


Begin To Dream

by QueenOfCards (taesuganme)



Category: Alice In Wonderland - Lewis Carroll, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Crack, Crossdressing, Crossover, I Don't Even Know, M/M, No Intentional Plot, No Plot/Plotless, Other, Swearing, Wonderland AU, lots of swearing, obviously
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-10
Updated: 2017-01-10
Packaged: 2018-09-16 14:53:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,113
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9276872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/taesuganme/pseuds/QueenOfCards
Summary: This fic will be a compilation of crossover style fics, a complete mashup of pretty much everything I'm a fan of. Hopefully. That's the aim!I don't take requests here (try Bullet Shots for that) but I will take into consideration any ideas you guys send me in the comments! Enjoy!





	

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to everyone on the Suga Thread at OneHallyu (for those not familiar with me, I'm Queen Of Cards there too) for posting so much stuff while our baby has been recuperating- I haven't spoken much but I've really appreciated it~

It was only when he saw a white rabbit running past in a great hurry, that Yoongi realized where he was.

The last thing he remembered was feeling ridiculously sleepy in the back of the car, on the way back from an interview, and leaning his head tentatively on Seokjin’s shoulder. So how he’d abruptly transitioned from that to Wonderland, he wasn’t sure. But with the curious vision of a rabbit running on its hind legs suspiciously like a human imprinted in his memory, Yoongi decided to shrug the thought off, and instead nonchalantly walked on, not concerned in the least how he’d got there. It was a welcome break from the ceaseless promotions of the group’s latest album, after all.

The first thing about Wonderland (if, of course, it really _was_ Wonderland) Yoongi noticed, was how the scenery never seemed to progress. It only ever changed when he wasn’t looking, when he was absorbed in studying an interesting flower, or turning around to look for other people.

The second thing he noticed, was that he was being followed.

It took a while for him to notice, as his pursuer’s footsteps were silent, as if they were merely a hallucination, and they didn’t leave footprints either. It took an accidental sneeze to catch Yoongi’s attention, and when he finally turned to see them, it took a while for him to pinpoint their exact location, because they were half-transparent.

But it was easy for him to recognise the distinctive wide smile of his fellow bandmate, Hoseok, when he finally spotted it floating a couple of meters away. The boy was wearing pink and purple striped pyjamas, which sort of clashed with his fading orange-pink hair, and although his entire body was there, Yoongi found he could see right through it to the landscape behind.

“Hey, hyung! I found this! I think it’s for you,” Hoseok’s voice, unlike his body, was not diminished in any way, and therefore carried quite easily to Yoongi’s ears. He held out a piece of paper to the elder, smirking mysteriously, and as Yoongi looked at the writing on it, promptly disappeared.

“Great. Lot of fucking use he was,” Yoongi muttered to himself as he read.

‘ _Alice,’_ the note began, _‘is invited to tea with the Queen of Hearts, at four o’clock precisely, in the Palace Gardens. Formal attire is required.’_

“Formal attire? What the hell is that supposed to mean? Who’s the Queen of fucking Hearts? Do I know her? Where’s the palace? How am I supposed to know?”

Yoongi resisted the urge to throw the scrap of paper away, instead folding it into a neat square and moving to put it in his pocket. He froze when his hand met silky fabric instead of the warm woollen sweater he last remembered wearing.

“Oh, no fucking way…”

Yoongi looked down at what should have been comfortable sweats and a jumper, and found instead a silky light blue dress covered in a frilled white apron, exactly as he always imagined Alice to wear. Without even needing to check, but doing so anyway- just in case- Yoongi knew he was wearing black and white striped thigh high socks and shiny black boots, and a large blue silk bow atop his hair. He was pleasantly surprised to find his hair was still it’s natural colour, and he was enormously relieved to find he hadn’t changed gender either.

But the fact that he was once again crossdressing, like a certain time when he’d had to do it for a kind of variety show, not long after the group’s debut, kind of pissed Yoongi off.

It wasn’t that he didn’t like wearing a silky, frilly dress- it was quite comfortable so long as no-one was trying to peek up his skirts- but more that he hadn’t had a choice, and that he was clearly expected to play the role that his clothing suggested.

Yoongi hated not having a choice in things. He hated not having freedom to do and say as he liked, and for a long time, as an idol, he’d had a lot of trouble over having to do certain amounts of dancing, of not being able to write the lyrics he’d wanted to write, of not being allowed to produce music for the group. Eventually, he’d learnt to make compromises in some areas, and give in totally in others, but it didn’t mean he liked it. Not in the least.

Not having a choice in what to wear in Wonderland wasn’t something Yoongi liked either. But since there was no alternative, (he was guessing clothes didn’t grow on trees, and judging by Hoseok’s early spontaneous appearance, if he stripped, he’d probably have the maknae line immediately appearing and snickering at his naked body while he desperately searched for something else to wear. That’d be worse than them seeing him in the dress) he let it slide. As for being ‘Alice’ and obeying the instructions in the note, Yoongi wasn’t so lenient.

“I’m not playing a game, so I’m not acting a dumb blonde on a quest to find the Queen,” he decided, “but I may as well look for this palace, it sounds interesting. Maybe there’ll be a bed where I can lie down and go to sleep.”

Finding his plan quite reasonable, Yoongi nodded to himself and set off. He didn’t have a clue where the palace was supposed to be, as he hadn’t been given any directions, but he guessed he’d probably meet someone who did know.

Yoongi soon found that walking in boots with heels was a lot easier than he had thought, as he made his way through the sun-dappled forest, skirts sliding silkily against his bare thighs with a soft rustling sound. The air was warm, but not humid, and Yoongi was vaguely surprised that he didn’t feel tired even after several minutes walking at his top speed.

Soon, the light began to be cut out by thicker layers of leaves on the trees, and Yoongi found himself almost squinting into the darkness so he could see where he was going. It was then that he saw the strange red shiny objects on the forest floor. Crouching down to get a closer look, Yoongi realized that the red objects were actually miniature apple-like fruits, and there were about six of them, scattered about randomly. Puzzled, Yoongi looked up and around, expecting to see a tree with the tiny fruits growing on it. But all the trees around were evergreen, and none of them had fruits, or even berries.

Yoongi picked up one of the apples, immediately thinking,

“Ah, what if it’s one of those things Alice eats that makes her grow and shrink? Seems like a bad idea…”

But before he could stop himself, his body acting on its own accord, the fruit was in his mouth, and he was biting, chewing, and actually thoroughly enjoying the flavour. Yoongi closed his eyes, and hummed in pleasure- he hadn’t tasted anything as sweet as this for years, yet it wasn’t sickly. Not even close.

But when he finally opened his eyes again, Yoongi mentally punched himself in the face because- surprise, surprise, he’d shrunk. He’d gotten so small, he would’ve been about the height of a mouse, if he’d had one to compare himself to- which of course he didn’t. But before he had a chance to mourn the new heights (pardon the pun) of smallness he had finally fallen to, (man, I’m bad at puns) a large white something flew right past his face, and he had to grab onto some nearby grass in order to avoid being pulled into the white Something’s slipstream and dragged along. The sudden breeze caused by the movement lifted some of the dry leaves off the ground, creating hundreds of mini whirlpools of brown in its wake with a rustling whisper.

Blinking and winded, Yoongi peered after the Something, and found that it had stopped short not far from where he stood, now scratching behind it’s long snowy white ears with one of its equally dazzlingly white hind paws.

“Um, hi?” Yoongi began, instantly feeling rather vulnerable due to his size. The Something turned towards the sound of his voice, and Yoongi could have laughed at how the creature’s huge chocolate eyes automatically focused far above Yoongi’s head before dropping down to find him among wavering grass stems and tree roots, if it were not so intimidating.

The White Rabbit’s muscles rippled visibly under its velvety coat as it turned, and Yoongi had to duck in order to not be hit by one of its ears. He was about to open his mouth, but the White Rabbit beat him to it saying,

“Oh, hyung! Just the person! Tell me, what goes up and down but never moves? I’m looking for it, but I don’t know what it is. Do you know?”

Yoongi stared dumbly back.

“Hyung? Hyung? Hey, are you okay?”

“I’m fine, but you- you’ve got- you’ve got fucking rabbit ears, Hoseok goes invisible, I don’t know what the hell is going on- “

“Sounds like you’ve already seen The Caterpillar; he seems to have that effect on people- “

“The Caterpillar? Who the hell is that?”

“But that means I’m already late, I really must get going- “

“Guk, hold on, who- “

“If you’ve seen him then you’ll- wait, what? You haven’t?”

“Uh, no?”

“Oh, well, that’s good then. You’re invited to tea with the Queen of Hearts, at four o’clock- “

“Hoseok already told me that, Jungkook.”

“Then I have nothing else to tell you. Excuse me, I’m late now- “

Yoongi started as the giant rabbit-maknae shifted, narrowly avoiding getting squashed.

“Wait!”

“I’m late for a very important date!”

“Kook, I swear- wait, I need to know how to get to the Palace!”

“The Palace? Oh! The _Palace_! Why didn’t you say so before?!”

“Which road from here do I take? Which way is it?”

“If you don’t know where you’re going, any road will take you there,“ Jungkook began cryptically.

Yoongi rolled his eyes. This was going to take forever.

“But if you follow this road,” Jungkook pointed to a path which had materialized out of nowhere only seconds ago, “it should take you fairly directly to the Palace. It’s a long road, but it’s the shortest way there is.”

“Sure?”

“Yep. Now I’m _really_ late. Wish me luck on my first date with Hobi-hyung~”

And with that, the White Rabbit boy rushed off leaving Yoongi stunned once again.

“I didn’t think it was an actual _date_ date he was late for…” he muttered as he stepped carefully onto the path that he hoped would take him to the Queen of Hearts’ Palace.

As the woodland gradually thinned out, Yoongi wondered why Jungkook hadn’t commented on his outfit, but he eventually concluded that the younger had been too worried about being late for his date with Hoseok, and hadn’t even noticed what he was wearing.

“Wait. Hoseok? Jungkook had a date with _Hoseok_? Jungkook? Hoseok? But I thought- “

A loud roar of laughter interrupted Yoongi’s train of thought, and before he even realized where he was, Yoongi felt himself being picked up by a giant hand.

He struggled and fought, but thanks to his four-inch stature, he couldn’t escape. Another booming laugh rattled Yoongi’s eardrums, and he froze as he realized who he recognised who it belonged to.

“Shit, hyung! You look fucking adorable!”

An unexpected swoosh of air forced Yoongi’s eyelids closed as his captor carried him away.

“There you are! You can open your eyes now, hyung.”

Yoongi opened his eyes obediently, and found himself looking into the face of the Mad Hatter. Except, well, it was Taehyung, and that made it all the more terrifying- Yoongi had no idea what the boy was about to do or say.

“Hey, hyung, meet Jiminnie!”

One of Taehyung’s giant hands pulled a teapot over to them, and Yoongi was about to go, ‘Jimin is a freaking teapot?!’ until Taehyung lifted the lid to reveal Jimin.

“He was small and sweet before, but now- you’ve gotta be shitting me! Is the addition of fluffy mouse ears and long tail _really_ necessary?!” thought Yoongi, as the smallest of the three clambered out of the teapot and onto the table between them.

“Hi! Nice dress, noona!” Jimin whistled teasingly, a huge smirk spreading across his cute whiskered face to match the one on Taehyung’s face.

“Yeah, it really suits you, noona, you should wear dresses more often!” Taehyung put in, sending a wink to his increasingly pissed off hyung.

“I’ll kill you two…” threatened a pink-faced Yoongi, “believe me, I will!”

Taehyung shrugged and poured himself cup of tea.

“Maybe so, but in the meantime, I think it’s time for some tea,” he began, pausing when Dormouse-Jimin tugged on his sleeve, “Yes, I’ll pour you some too, hyung, I know you get thirsty from whatever you do in that teapot of yours…”

Yoongi grinned as the Dormouse bit Taehyung’s hand, and watched with great satisfaction the frenzied dashing of a Taehyung in search of a bandage.

“You really shouldn’t tease your boyfriend like that,” advised Yoongi with a sage air, seated by now cross-legged like a genie on top of a random hat.

“Whatever, like you know anything about boyfriends,” retorted a slightly grumpy Mad Hatter as he sat back down to drink his tea.

“ _Especially in public_ , Taehyung,” Yoongi continued, quite enjoying himself, “You’re younger, you should treat your hyungs with more respect. Speaking of which, I thought you offered me tea?”

“Mmm okay. Sing a song.”

Yoongi eyed him warily.

“What?”

“Sing a song.”

“Yes, I heard that, but what does that have to do with tea?”

Taehyung rolled his eyes long-sufferingly.

“Everything and nothing.”

“You’re mad.”

“We’re all mad here. So are you, or you wouldn’t be here. So what if I’m crazy? All the best people are. Sing.”

“Sing what?”

“Here, Jiminnie will give you an example- hey Jimin, wake up!” Taehyung prodded the Dormouse with a fingertip. The boy stirred in his sleep, but didn’t wake.

Another reluctant sigh left Taehyung’s lungs.

“Man, I didn’t want to have to do this.”

“Oh shit, I know what happens next- I remember reading this before,” thought Yoongi, instinctively covering his ears.

“OH HI, HOSEOK, FANCY MEETING YOU HERE! YOU LOOK NICE, ARE YOU DRESSED UP FOR A DA- “

Yoongi looked on in slightly horrified amusement as the tiny Dormouse’s eyes blinked open, staring right through Yoongi’s soul.

“GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY FUCKING TERRITORY YOU SHIT-EATING MOTHERFUCKER,”

“Yes, baby, just sing your song and he’ll go away,” said the Mad Hatter soothingly, carefully scooping the Dormouse up in his giant hands.

“TAEHYUNG ISN’T YOUR FUCKING SLUT, HE’S MINE AND IF YOU LAY A SINGLE FINGER ON HIM I SWEAR I WILL FUCKING- “

“That’s enough Jiminnie, your song please.” Taehyung prompted, stroking Jimin’s back comfortingly.

“CASTRATE YOU- oh, okay then,”

The Dormouse took a deep breath, and began.

_“tell me_

_with your sweet smile_

_tell me_

_like a whisper, say it in my ear_

_don't be like a prey_

_be smooth like a like a snake_

_although I want to stray_

_go away from me, go away, go away please_

_go away from me, go away, go away_

_something, please save me_

_please save me_

_it's endless, even if I try to run_

_I’ve fallen into a lie_

_caught in a lie_

_please find the me who was innocent_

_I can't escape from inside this lie_

_please return my smile_

_caught in a lie_

_free me from this hell_

_I can't escape from this suffering_

_please save me who is being punished”_

Jimin took another deep breath, and swiftly fell back into a deep sleep.

“Like that,” finished Taehyung, a blissful smile on his face.

“I’m just gonna pretend I didn’t see you mentally undressing Jimin just now- “

“He’s just so beautiful I could eat him right up,”

“ _And instead I’ll sing you a song because I could do with a fucking cup of tea right now- “_

“He’s so hot I seriously want to fuck him even though he’s a Dormouse,”

“HEY GENTLEMEN

WAIT A MINUTE

YOU'RE PRAYING FOR ME TO FAIL, AREN'T YOU

SORRY I HAVE NO PROBLEM

MO' MONEY MO' PROBLEM SHIT

I KNOW, I FEEL LIKE TONY MONTANA

I KNOW, I FEEL LIKE TONY MONTANA

SUCCESS AND HAPPINESS, SAME BUT DIFFERENT

MY WEAKNESS IS WANTING MORE SUCCESS

MORE RICHES AND AN EVEN BIGGER HONOUR

MONEY WANTS TO CHASE ME, I HOPE I WON'T BECOME A MONSTER WHO CHASES MONEY

I PRAY

I DECIDED NOT TO HOPE FOR THE FAILURE OF OTHERS

MY FAMILY, FANS AND TEAM ARE FIRST

OKAY, LET'S EARN MONEY, MY LOFTY AMBITION IS KIND OF HIGH

THE WORLD IS YOURS, NOW THE WHOLE WORLD IS IN MY HANDS

HEY GENTLEMEN

HEY GENTLEMEN

WAIT A MINUTE

YOU'RE PRAYING FOR ME TO FAIL, AREN'T YOU

SORRY I HAVE NO PROBLEM

MO' MONEY MO' PROBLEM SHIT

I KNOW, I FEEL LIKE TONY MONTANA

I KNOW, I FEEL LIKE TONY MONTANA”

 

“Will that do?” asked Yoongi, his own smirk playing on his face.

“Teapot’s there, dude, filled right up,” moaned Taehyung, peeling himself off the ceiling, “surprised it didn’t shatter; I swear your rap is a supernatural power. Sure you’re not an alien from Mars? I haven’t heard a jam like that since the last Cypher.”

Yoongi got up and walked across the table to reach the teapot, and upon finding it far too big and heavy for him to handle, simply took the lid off and dipped his teacup into the steaming liquid. He let it cool for a little while, then took a sip.

And choked.

“What- what the hell is this, Taehyung? This is fucking espresso coffee, not tea!”

But when Yoongi looked up to glare at the offender, he found both the Mad Hatter and the Dormouse had vanished, leaving him alone, sat on the table.

The table, which was shrinking. Or was he growing? Either way, the table was clearly not built to hold his weight, so Yoongi quickly slipped off.

It wasn’t too long before his sudden growth spurt ended and the light-headedness caught up with him, so Yoongi sat down next to a tree and waited for his dizziness to pass. As he waited, Yoongi pulled out the scrap of paper that was his invitation.

‘ _Alice is invited to tea with the Queen of Hearts, at four o’clock precisely, in the Palace Gardens, beside the Fountain of Eternal Youth. Formal attire is required. RSVP via the Caterpillar’s messenger.’_

“Hang on, something’s changed. The Fountain of Eternal Youth? I’m sure that wasn’t in there before! And what’s this about the Caterpillar again? I have to reply through him? Well, this is beginning to look interesting. But I’d better get going, or I’ll be late.”

With a world-weary sigh, Yoongi reluctantly got up and brushed his skirts off.

He followed the winding road Jungkook the White Rabbit showed him earlier in the day, until eventually he reached a run down, abandoned area. The road still clearly showed, but Yoongi could hardly believe that this was the same road which led to the Palace.

“Man, this place looks like it’d be full of drug dealers and creepy shit. Which would be intimidating enough normally, but I’m dressed as Alice…”

As if to prove his point, the moment he thought the last word, a rough voice called out from the shadows,

“Hey, girlie, are you lost? This isn’t a place for little girls like you, do you want me to escort you to a safer place?”

A few rasping cackles followed this proposal, and it took all of Yoongi’s strength to resist the urge to turn back and kick a few asses. But he managed it, and was shakily turning a corner when a heavy thud sounded behind him. Yoongi immediately paused and turned back to see a tall, heavily tattooed guy single-handedly fighting some creepy looking men, who he assumed were the owners of the voices he’d heard only moments ago.

Within five minutes, the tattooed guy was finished, and pulling out a cigar. Only then did he notice Yoongi leaning against the cleanest looking part of a building, looking impressed.

“Namjoon-ah, I’ve been wondering where you were! Nice tattoos, by the way. Did you design them yourself?”

There was a moment of silence, and Yoongi began to worry.

“is he not Namjoon? He looks almost exactly the same, except for the tattoos,” he thought.

“Who,” the man began, “are you?”

He blew rings of smoke as he spoke, and the rings formed into the shapes of the word he was speaking, before dissolving into nothingness.

“Um, I’m Ali- Yoongi. Who are you?”

“I am no one.”

“How the hell- so what do people call you, then?”

“They call me the Caterpillar. A strange name, but fitting. I don’t think you will disagree.”

“Uh, no. If you’re the Caterpillar, then… don’t I have to RSVP through you?”

“I don’t know, should my name mean anything? Say, isn’t smoke beautiful. You breathe it into life and it lasts for only a moment before disappearing into nothingness, so it seems so insignificant. Yet the fragility of that short moment where it hangs in the air with all of its potential and possibilities is the most beautiful thing. It’s a lot like life- we are breathed into being, and last only a short time, but the most beautiful thing is that we’re made with all these millions of possibilities, like a huge web interconnected, and it can only last so long before it’s gone. Don’t you think that the shortest-lived things are the most beautiful?”

“Um, yeah? But the invitation, it said I need to send one of your messengers to tell the Queen I’m coming- “

“ _You_ need to send one of _my_ messengers? The arrogance! By the way, have you ever thought about the power of time? We’re all under its control, we can only ever live in the present. We can never go back into the past, and we will never reach the future. What do you think it would be like if there was no such thing as time? Would people pick their favourite parts of life, and enjoy them for eternity? Or would we get bored and want to move on?”

“But- “

“Say, who are you?”

Yoongi hesitated. “Will it make any difference? Ah well, can’t hurt to try,” he wondered.

With a shrug he replied, “I’m Alice- “

“Ah just _who_ I was waiting for. I assume you are wishing to go to the Queen’s tea party, am I correct? Yes?” The Caterpillar continued over Yoongi’s mumbled reply, “then I shall send off one of my messengers right away for you, and I, the Queen’s favourite bodyguard, Kim Namjoon, shall escort you personally the rest of the way. Is that satisfactory?”

“Yes, very satisfactory indeed. Tell me, don’t you think that the shortest-lived things are the most beautiful?” Yoongi asked half-teasingly, half-curious.

“Eh? What’s that? I don’t know, but if my pay was short-lived, then I’d think it was mighty dirty of my employers to cheat me. say, do you always talk all fancy like that? It’s just that I’m fair convinced the Queen hates it when guests try to speak posh for the occasion. The Queen’s real nice, Alice, lets you speak your mind and even hands you tissues when you cry. And if you- oh look we’re here.”

With a shock, Yoongi looked round to realize that they had indeed arrived _somewhere_ , wherever it was. There were tall ironwork gates and a stone wall that seemed to stretch on for miles on end, beyond the limits of vision. The gates opened silently by themselves, and Yoongi stepped into what was clearly the Palace Garden, more than cautiously. Almost as if he was afraid of making a single noise, he walked quietly forward along the now grass-lined path.

The air was cool but not cold, and filled with the sound of birds calling one another, their tweets and chirps like music to Yoongi’s ears. The afternoon sun hovered attentively over the Garden, and the flowers whispered among themselves.

“Namjoon,” Yoongi whispered to the man beside him, “the flowers are talking, is that normal?”

“No, it isn’t” the Caterpillar replied quite seriously, “they’re usually quarrelling and starting fights. I imagine it’s because the Queen is here that they’re more subdued.”

Yoongi mentally rolled his eyes.

Soon, the sound of falling water came to their ears, and Namjoon bent to murmur in Yoongi’s ear,

“This is where I leave you, you must approach the Queen alone, as you were the only person invited. You will see the Queen just beyond the Fountain of Eternal Youth, but do not touch the fountain as you pass. Speak as you wish, but dust off your skirts before you go.”

The Caterpillar gave him one last smile, before disappearing into the foliage.

Yoongi was alone.

But curious as fuck.

Yoongi wanted to end the story. So he took a deep breath, and stepped out into the sunlight that danced around the fountain. He carefully navigated his way round it, making sure not even his skirts brushed its edge, and ended his journey at a round garden table covered in pink roses and ivy. At the table, perched elegantly on one of the two chairs, was the most beautiful human Yoongi had ever seen, and he had to duck his head as he clumsily curtsied, to hide the growing blush on his face.

“Hello, Alice, welcome to my Palace Gardens. I hope you did not have too much trouble getting here?”

The gentle, familiar voice carried easily though the peaceful afternoon air, but all Yoongi could think was,

“Shit, it’s Jin, and he’s too fucking beautiful, shit what do I do,”

So when he went to answer, instead of saying, ‘well, it was pretty crazy, I met some interesting people, etc.’, it came out more like,

“Well, it was pretty crazy, but shit you’re hot as fuck and please give me some tea before I say something stupid,”

“Thank you, I know I am incredibly good looking. You’re not bad yourself, Alice. If I’m an eleven out of ten, then you’re a solid nine out of ten, I’d say. Yes, I also think tea sounds good.”

The Queen of Hearts then picked up a little silver hand bell that had been hidden among the roses, and rang it.

Seconds later, eight smartly dressed waiters arrived with platefuls of cupcakes, biscuits and pastries, teacups and a teapot. Once the refreshments were organised tidily on the table, the waiters disappeared, and the Queen lifted the teapot.

“I shall pour,” the Queen announced, before pouring the tea. When they both had cups of tea, and sweets of their choosing, the Queen spoke again,

“Did you hear the rumour going around about butter?”

Yoongi was instantly bemused.

“What rumour?”

“Never mind, I shouldn’t spread it.”

There was a split second silence, before the Queen burst into loud giggles, and Yoongi stared at the Queen, wondering whether to be amused, or disapproving. He settled on disapproving.

“That was an awful joke, you’ve got to know better ones than that!”

“Yeah, well try this one; do you know why you don’t see elephants hiding up in trees?”

“I don’t know, why?”

“Because they’re really good at it!”

Once again, the Queen erupted into violent giggles.

When the Queen finally calmed down, Yoongi decided it was time to steer the conversation in a different direction.

“So, is there a particular reason you invited me here?”

“Now that you mention it, yes, there is. The truth is, although I am the Queen of Hearts, there is no King of Hearts. The problem is that I was born from the Queen family, and there is no obvious King for me to marry. However, I found out just recently that there is a King who would have been my partner, had I been born female, and had they not disappeared before I took the throne. That King has lived in disguise for most of their lives, and does not yet even know of their identity. Should I find them, it is expected of me to marry them immediately- for the sake of the Hearts Kingdom.”

Yoongi nodded, that all seemed to make sense so far.

The Queen continued, “But I personally hate the idea of being forced to marry someone just because it’s my duty. I want to marry someone I love, and I already love someone. My problem is thus; should I risk the integrity and safety and respect of the Kingdom I rule by marrying the person I love, or obediently marry somebody I have probably never met, despite the fact they could be literally anybody?”

“Why are you asking me this question,” asked Yoongi, “when I am one of the hundreds of people in this Kingdom?”

“Because,” the Queen replied, “you are the only person who is not a citizen of any Kingdom- you are the only person who does not have a bias towards one Kingdom’s gain or another.”

“But what I am biased in another way?” Yoongi countered.

“What do you mean?”

“What if I am biased towards you? What I personally want you to follow the path that makes you happiest? What if I am so deeply in love with you, I’d do anything for you?”

“Then… maybe your advice is the kind of advice I want to hear? Because you, Alice, are the person I love, and if you say I should do what makes me happiest, then I should marry you.”

“Wait, what did I say? Did I- oh shit, fuck- it was supposed to be a secret and- “

The Queen rushed to Yoongi’s side of the table and grabbed his hands, begging him with his eyes to please understand.

“Yoongi, I love you, will you please stay with me forever? I don’t think I could live without you, you’re my lifeline, my anchor, and a million other cheesy things that aren’t as important as you.”

Swiftly the light began to fade around the two, and shadows began to creep around the garden like scheming goblins. The chatter of birds faded into mechanical beeps and the trickle of water droplets changed to blood gushing through veins.

Yet even though the scenery had changed, Yoongi could tell the waiting question was the same.

“Yes, Seokjin, of course. Of course I will stay with you forever, I love you.”

 

And Alice and the Queen of Hearts lived together happily ever after.

The End

**Author's Note:**

> (And guess what guys? It truly was happily ever after, because where did the water for their tea come from? Seokjin's Fountain of Eternal Youth, of course!)


End file.
